Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
