i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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