I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
