come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
