Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
