So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
