i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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