She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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