Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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