Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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