i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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