Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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