I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
