doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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