come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
