The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
