I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
only you would photoshop your dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think your dad took our porno
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
