the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
