She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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