dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
