Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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