I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
