you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
