Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
