Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
