i was born a porn star she said
You smell like a Billy Joel song
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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