doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
