She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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