I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
