It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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