I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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