what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
