Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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