Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
