It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
