I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
