mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
