just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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