in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had to cum in my sink.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
