are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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