it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
PANTIES FOUND
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