ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
