sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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