As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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