I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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