After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
