i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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