Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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