hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
