Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
