About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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