I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
