i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
